Bleeding Memories
by loved till it hurt
Summary: He accepted the fact that he was destined to nights of restless dreams long time ago; he just couldn’t deal with the not only emotional but physical pain his memories brought him. See he doesn’t only see what his other past saw, he feels what he felt too.
1. Chapter 1

It wasn't the first time he has woken up from a vivid nightmare, nor will it be the last. Indeed Chris Halliwell was used to it by now. Clutching his chest and gasping for breath, he made his way downstairs toward the kitchen. He headed directly toward the cabin and took two aspirin pills hoping to ease his throbbing headache. It was something he did somewhat everyday now, and by the looks this wasn't going to end soon.

Chris Halliwell, the resident witchlighter with vibrant green eyes which had a sad edge to them, brown wild hair and defined muscles acquired from limitless hours of martial art training courtesy of his aunt Phoebe was in fact used to his nightmares by now… or should he call them distinct memories from another life.

Yes, Chris Halliwell did certainly remember the other life he led, luckily his parents had no idea of such thing and he wasn't particularly keen about them knowing. It wouldn't do them any good anyway.

It wasn't that he liked keeping stuff from them; that was never his intention, he just never liked to burden others with his problems, but still he had to admit, this is one heck of a problem.

He accepted the fact that he was destined to nights of restless dreams long time ago; he just couldn't deal with the not only emotional but physical pain his memories brought him. See he doesn't only see what his other past saw, he feels what he felt as well.

A broken arm, a dislocated shoulder, a stomach flue, a scraped knee, a concussion, stitches, a stab to the abdomen, another one to the chest calf, splitting headaches, you name it, as long as the other Chris had it, he felt it.

It wasn't the best situations, but he learned to deal with it, as long as no one noticed, it didn't matter much. Chris learned from a very young age to distance himself from others, he wasn't the most social person around, unlike his outgoing older brother Wyatt who was like by everybody. He was after all the basketball star player with dreamy blue eyes, golden hair, and a body to die for. Chris on the other hand was what you would call a loner, he had some pretty close friends sure, but they weren't what you would call extrovert either. The mostly kept to themselves and liked it that way.

Another thing you probably would be interested to know, Chris had no powers, or at least that's what his parents thought. At first it came as quite a shock for the magical family that he never showed any signs of magic, he was after all part witch. However, at the end they decided to blame it on the time travel thing and whatever after effects it must have caused.

Chris on the other hand, knew the exact extent of his power and how to control them from a young age, and made sure no one else knew. He wasn't even sure why he wanted to keep the issue a secret, but his instincts told him too and so he did it for the heck of it.

He had many a great powers that would send demons cowering away. But mostly his powers were inoffensive and used for hiding. He had the power of invisibility, super speed, conjuring and of course telekenisis, not to mention the fact that he can also freeze times just like his mother. Yes, Chris Halliwell was a force to be reckoned with, yet sadly no one knew that………….that is until it was too late.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: if I by some miracle owned Charmed, do you think I'd go and off Chris?! Yeah right.!

**CHAPTER 2**

_"The pain, or the memory of pain, that here was literally sucked away by something nameless until only a void was left. The knowledge that this question was possible: pain that turns finally into emptiness. The knowledge that the same equation applied to everything, more or less." Roberto Balano_

It was a somewhat normal Saturday morning in the Halliwell Manor, that is if you call demons bursting into flames and splashing green goo all over the furniture normal. The demon was a lower level demon that was stupid enough to attack on Saturday morning when all the Halliwells were present, . They were all there, infact as powerful and strong willed as they were known to be, none of them was ever able to resist Piper's extra ordinary pancakes.

Ah, the power of pancakes!

Anyway, while the cousins were busy cleaning up the mess, their mothers were busy gossiping. Apparently Phoebe was complaining about the fact that her husband was rarely home anymore, an occupational hazard of being a Cupid. Paige on the other hand was complaining about having to teach hormonal 15 year olds in magic school (why she went back to teaching was beyond her!).However, Piper was oddly silent, something her sisters weren't used to.

"Hey is everything okay? Something seems to be bothering you." Phoebe asked.

"Huh, no it's nothing, it's just that I have this feeling you know, like something is going to happen." Piper answered.

"Well, around here something is always happening, are you sure that's all there is?" Paige interjected.

"Yeah, I think so, I mean yeah." Piper replied. But still she couldn't shake this disturbing feeling.

"_Mom, mom wake up, just please wake up, don't leave me alone, I can't handle it. Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, this is not happening, WAKE UP!"_

"_Wyatt, where have you been? You've been gone for three hour, why didn't you tell me you were going to the Underworld, I could've helped you, I wanted to!"_

"_What do you mean there's no good or evil, you don't know what you're talking about."_

"_Wyatt, won't you get it through your thick skull, I will never ever join you, not now, not tomorrow, not in a billion year, so will you leave me alone for God's sake!"_

"_YOU KILLED THEM, YOU KILLED YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLODD YOU SON OF A BITCH"_

"_Bianca, there no way in hell am I ever going to kill him, I just don't have that power in me."_

"_Will you marry me?"_

"_You're pregnant?! Are you sure? I mean are you really sure?"_

"_I have to go back, I have to fix this, I have to save him, I just have to"_

"_I'm Chris Perry, I'm from the future"_

"_Trust me. Look, I know you have no reason to trust me, but the book thinks I'm good, shouldn't you?"_

"_Because I know what I'm doing"_

"_I didn't go back to betray you, Wyatt. I went back to save you,"_

"_Maybe we will be again."_

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

Chris woke with a start, the pain from losing Bianca still gnawing at his heart. He clutched his heart and gasped for air, it did him no good. He could still feel the other Chris's heartbreak and ache. Who ever said that losing a fiancé was easy was dead wrong. He could take the pain of a broken leg anytime over this.

He made his way downstairs where he was sure to see his gathered family. It was a Saturday morning after all.

"Hey guys," he said upon entering the very crowded kitchen.

"Hey honey, would you like some pancakes?" His mothers asked while she pecked him on the cheek.

"Sure." Was his brief reply.

"So, slept well bro?" Wyatt asked.

"Like a baby," his bitter tone went unnoticed.

Just then white orbs filled the room, and Leo appeared. He looked alert which in turn alerted the people present.

"Something wrong?" His wife asked immediately.

"Eh, not really, there's a demon on the loose. His name is Mesmero, he has been mainly inactive for the past ten years, well that is until now. He has the power to make his victims live through their most painful memories until they snap. He is pretty dangerous and very tricky to catch." Leo concluded.

"We'll get right on it." Phoebe announced already on her way to the attic

_Living your worst memories over and over again, I wonder how that would be like._ Chris thought sarcastically.

**A.N**

**Okay, okay I know it's not anywhere near the best you've ever read, but I'd really love it if you reviewed.**

**Oh and plz keep in mind that I'm writing this fic to practice English, since it's my second language.**

**Bye**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: so not in the mood to make a funny one, but you catch the drift nothing is mine.

**Chapter Three**

"_We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called __**memories**__. Some take us forward, they're called dreams._" Jeremy Irons

"Okay so just like Leo said, he is an upper level demon with control over memories, has been dormant for a couple of years, there's no known spell or potion to vanquish him though, so any ideas?" Phoebe said in an irritated voice. Just her luck, her husband finally had some time to spend with her, and she was spending it fussing over a demon.

"Not really, anyone else does?" asked Piper in a defeated voice.

The room full of young witches was silent, a most unusual thing around the Manor.

Chris Halliwell watched the scene with mild interest, he had infact encountered the demon Mesmero before, his other self had actually. The encounter was an interesting one to say the least; he had actually convinced the Mesmero from the other timeline to join the resistance. Wyatt's rein then not only debilitated witches and good magic. His evil extended to the point that even demon weren't that fond of him anymore.

He knew exactly how to vanquish him yet was reluctant to share the information with his family. On one hand if he did tell them they might demand to know how that information was available to him, and it's not like he could just blurt out the fact that he happened to be familiar with that subject thanks to the memories of his alternative self.

On the other hand he has witnessed first hand how hazardous Mesmero can be and the thought of any of his family in danger wasn't very appealing.

He took a look around the attic and decided that he had to do_ something._

"Maybe you should check the library in magic school, there's bound to be something worthwhile there." He suggested.

His suggestion startled the people present from their thoughts. Chris was never one to add an input in a magical issue, he never seemed to be keen about magic and witchcraft in general, and would usually prefer spending his time working on his computer or reading a good book while his cousins were out demon hunting.

"Eh, yeah sure, Wyatt why don't you and the twins go check it out?" Leo suggested.

"Okay, let's go guys." Wyatt motioned to Paige's twins to follow him and then immediately orbed out.

"I need to go, I have a meeting with one of my student's parents, I'll be back soon." And with that Paige orbed out.

"Well seeing that I'm not needed here, I think I'll go catch up with my husband, you guys coming?" Phoebe asked her two daughters.

"I think we'll hang around here for a while." Answered Patty her eldest.

"Okay then, bye" Phoebe said heading downstairs.

"I'll go finish my homework." Said Chris and headed downstairs as well.

"_What have we got here?" Asked Chris sarcasm dripping from every letter. "Haven't seen you around here before." He added._

_He was gazing at a demon that coincidently didn't look like a demon at all, that if you ignore the red on black eyes and slightly bulging forehead. He was quite handsome actually with a well muscled body and disheveled hair._

"_I would assume so, oh but I have indeed heard of you witch, you lord Wyatt's stray brother, the one he's been raising havoc trying to find, don't know why the trouble though, you don't seem to deserve the effort." Said the demon with an icy tone._

"_Been telling him that for years, but what can you do he's a Halliwell after all, so damn stubborn." Retorted Chris._

"_I see, so you won't mind if I take you to him now would you?, I'd be saving him the trouble after all,"_

"_Ah I had the feeling we were going to hit this little snag, see I have no intention of ever going back to him, and if you are going to try taking me well let's just say I had the pleasure of meeting you."_

_And with that the fighting began._

Chris woke up covered in sweat and in need of air; nothing surprising there. It was seven in the afternoon and he had just woken up from a nap.

He headed down stairs and was met with a very disgruntled Wyatt, apparently the library visit did him no good but cost him three hours worth of research.

"So what do we do now?" he asked not expecting an answer.

"We do what we always do, try something else and kick some demon's butt. It always worked well before," Was Piper's brisk answer.

"Any ideas on how we can do that?" He retorted with an eye roll

"I'm working on it"

"Hey Wyatt, I've been thinking, if the demon actually gets to you, what would your worst memory be?" Payton, one of the twins asked.

"Ah, I don't know, never actually thought about, I think it might be the time on Chris's fourteenth birthday when mom nearly....ah you know… died."

"Yeah that was a tough one; thank God Uncle Leo was there to heal her. How about you Chris, what would be your worst memory?"

Chris actually snorted a bit at that but answered nonetheless," Well darn that's a tough one, well it could be the time I walked in on mom and dad making out, horrifying," He said with a dramatic shudder.

"Ha ha very funny young man, now eat your dinner already," Piper snapped playfully and added another spoonful of stew to his plate.

"Well you have to admit it was a pretty traumatizing," He added

"Just glad it's you and not me bro," Commented Wyatt gleefully.

AN

_**Hey guys hope you liked it, and thanx to everyone who reviewed. I really appreciate it, so do it even if you had something bad about this fic to say.**_

_**Bye.**_


	4. Chapter 4

AN I just wanted to clear some stuff out about Chris's childhood so this doesn't have much action in it.

Chapter Four

_~ The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant. ~ Salvador Dali_

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Chris Halliwell was, in many ways, very different than Chris Perry. Having the advantage of growing up in a peaceful world without a murderous dictator of an older brother, Chris Halliwell was as normal as a witch can be, that if you overlook the fact that he has twenty three years worth of memories infused with his own. Sometimes Chris truly hated that fact, but other times he couldn't help but revel in it. Sure the fact that he constantly felt pain that simply shouldn't be there, but what seventeen year old could honestly say that he has fallen in love, gotten engaged, had what neared a hundred person under his command, literally _saved the future_ from going to hell, not many he supposed.

And sure the memories could keep him up most nights, turning and thrashing in his bed, he couldn't deny that the other Chris's knowledge and experience saved him more times than he could count. Unlike what his family thought, he didn't shy away from magic, didn't detest spending time demon hunting, nor was he keen on having a normal magical free life. He just didn't like them knowing that; it wouldn't do them any good any way.

He tried picturing their reaction several times, but all he could come up with were a lot of tears and disappointment. He supposed that he had planned on telling them at some point, yet there never seemed to be a right time. When he was five years old and the memories started coming back to him, he was still too young to comprehend what was happening, he thought there was something wrong with him, how else would he know stuff grownups three time his age had no idea of ? He didn't tell them because he simply didn't know what to say. He had gotten most of his powers at that time including orbing, and unlike his brother he could control when to use them, he never understood why his brother needed help training and he didn't. But then one time he overheard his parents talking about the fact that he apparently was powerless and needed protection from whatever threat the family was facing that week. They orbed him to magic school whenever something dangerous was taking place which ended up with him spending more time there than he could count. Having practically nothing there to do but stare at walls and counts holes in ceilings, he started wondering around the place until he reached the library where he would later spend the majority of his time learning about everything from magical myths to wiccan magic. After seven years of educating himself he supposed he had his own book of shadows stored safely in his head.

There were several times when he had the urge to just blurt everything out and to hell with it, after all what's the worst that could happen. Sure things would be tense for a while but eventually they'll forgive him, for he was family and that's what family do: they forgive each other no matter what.

But there were other times when he was convinced that his family wouldn't be able to handle it. He couldn't imagine what his mother would say after finding out that his innocent little peanut wasn't at all little nor was he innocent. He has already seen what no teenager should ever witness including the death of his mother, aunts and pretty much every one he cared about. Even though he wasn't exactly the one that has been there when it all happened, but still he felt all the emotional pain that was minutes away from tearing his own heart and leaving him broken. His father who has actually been there when he died at the age of twenty three would simply feel all the guilt he had learned to ignore crashing in on him, he had after all been the worst imaginable excuse of a father in the other timeline, that he gathered from the other Chris's attitude toward him when he first came back, he also allowed him to go ahead and die, he was simply too late to save him and that is something he couldn't still live with. Oh and not to forgot the most important of them all his own brother Wyatt the evil lord from the other time, the one who took killing as a way to kill time, who was more than a madman, he knew for a fact that Wyatt wouldn't be able to live with the verity that he had been the one to cause the other Chris's ultimate death.

Still the hardest time it was for him to keep his secret was on his fourteenth birthday. He had to make sure that nothing happened to her, because the thought of losing her _again_ was simply unthinkable. Thank God his grandfather was there to remind them of what the other Chris confided him with. They were able to vanquish the demons and although Piper was badly hurt Leo was there to heal her and make sure she was left unscathed. She was destined to die that day after all.

A lot of people weren't destined to die like they did the last time, he lost count of people he thought they'd be dead by now only to meet them in magic school or at his mother's club. Bianca wasn't one of them. He not only had no idea where she was these days or what she was doing, he had no idea if she was even alive to begin with. He'll have to find her someday though, he just knew he had, she was his soul mate after all!

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"_This is a bad idea, he can't be trusted, he's a demon for God's sake" Snapped Morris._

"_Yeah, well I pretty much knew that when I asked him to join the resistance, he can be a great benefit for our side, beside he's not very fond of Wyatt's rein anymore than we are." Said Chris in obvious irritation; they've been having this conversation for what seemed to be hours now._

"_That doesn't mean you can allow him to just waltz inhere without even acknowledging what the others' opinions about him joining us might be." Morris retorted heatedly. _

" _last time I checked, I was the leader of the resistance here, and you know I'm doing this with our best interest at heart so will you just knock it of; I've had enough of people questioning my every decision and acting like I'm a stupid kid who can't handle shit so will you please for once and I know this might be hard for you, but could maybe just leave me the hell alone! I know what I'm doing here." And with that Chris orbed out leaving one dazed Daryl Morris behind._

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AN I know I know not nearly as long as it should be and I'm really sorry for that. I just hope it won't stop you from reviewing. Come on show the little button down there some affection.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**Sunday Morning**

"So let me get this straight, Wyatt and the twins spent hours searching in the books of Magic's School library and came back empty handed, Leo spent half his time yesterday with the elders but couldn't find anything worthy, Phoebe tried and failed to get a premonition, and the rest of you couldn't come up with not even one possible way to vanquish the damn demon, am I right?" Paige finished exasperated.

"Yeah, that's pretty much it," Said her youngest, Henry.

"Well gee, good to know!" She retorted sarcastically.

It was in that exact moment that Mesmero decided to make an appearance.

"Well well well, by the looks of it I'm keeping you busy, so found a way to vanquish me yet?' He asked coolly.

"Don't worry, it won't take long," Said Piper as she tried to blow him up only to fall short.

"Well that wasn't very nice, now was it? You should know that your powers won't work on me, controlling memories isn't my only power"

"Great to know, I bet my power would" Interjected Wyatt all the while sending an energy ball after another at him, Mesmero simply dodged them and smirked saying:" I think I'll go now, but not before I do this."

And with that he sent some sort of black dust that settled on Chris's head before he dropped to the floor with an agonized scream, and then lost consciousness all together.

"CHRIS!!" yelled practically everybody frantically, some being Piper, her sisters and Leo ran to him.

"Oh my God, what did the son of a bitch do to him?" Wyatt shouted furiously.

"He's stuck in his worst memories" Acknowledged Leo with a defeated sigh.

"Yeah and how do we get him back?"

"We go after him." answered Piper.

"What? Why?"

"Well, think about it, Chris's conscious is stuck in memories he probably doesn't realize already passed, so if we were there to convince him otherwise we might actually have a chance in getting him back." She explained.

"You know this might actually work, I'll start with the spell." Phoebe said.

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"Okay guys are you ready?" Phoebe asked.

"As ready as we can be, let's do this." Answered Piper

"Wait guys, I'm going with you." Wyatt who was currently heading their way said.

"What no way, Wyatt you should stay here with your cousins."

"But this is Chris we're talking about, I can't let you do this alone, no I'm coming with you mom please, I just have to be there."

"He should come Piper, I think Chris will listen to him, we might need him to convince him to come back." Leo the always voice of reason approved.

"Okay so Wyatt's coming, can we just read the spell and get it over with?" interjected Paige.

"Okay here we go,

This boy's conscious is lost in memories

Take us to him let us be

Let us feel as he felt.

Let us see as he sought.

Let us know what he knew.

Let us owe what we ought."

They were engulfed in a sudden beam of light and were sprung foreword to Chris's memories.

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AN. Okay so I know this chapter was no good, but I was in a bit f hurry cause I couldn't wait to write the next one.


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